Self-Care or Escapism

Inspired by the Friend Zone podcast, today’s blog post is about the topic of Self Care vs. Escapism.  Is it really self-care when we decide to binge watch TV Shows on Netflix or Hulu or are we just avoiding the real world?

What is even the different between Self-Care and Escapism? How do you know if you’ve turned your self-care into escapism?

For me, self-care are things I do in order to take care of myself: getting my hair done, getting my nails or eyebrows done, shopping, reading a book, going for a brisk walk or to the gym, removing myself from negative energy.

For me, escapism is when I go to sleep and decide to avoid the problem and not get it done.

But if I do self-care activities and begin to avoid any problems/responsibilities that I have.  Has it then turned into escapism?

Three questions to ask to decide which you’re engaged in:

  1. What proportion of your time do you spend in goal-oriented activities versus the self-nurturing (or escapist) activity?
  2. Do you often feel a compulsion (or a strong pull) toward the escapist activity?
  3. How do you feel when you have completed the escapist or self care activity?

Self-care is very important for everyone.  We are all dealing with difficult things, jobs, family, relationship, etc.  Being selfish for a day or a couple of hours is okay and important for your soul.



Social Media Addict

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Why am I posting this?

Is it to impress you or myself?

What if I don’t break 100 likes?

Am I ugly?

Why do y’all delete pictures?

And then repost it at a different time like I didn’t see it 2 hours ago when it only generated 10 likes?

Do the amount of followers matter?

Why follow to unfollow?

Numbers matter that much to you?

Why are you buying followers?

Am I pretty? Am I interesting?

She’s an Instgram model?

Why can’t I be perfect like her?

Do she really live like that? Or do she close the app and go to sleep on her twin size air mattress while eating ramen noodles and shrimp – sort of like a Hood Red Lobsters?

You follow me and see me in person, but you don’t speak? For Why?

If you put it on Insta Story did you really enjoy it? If you didn’t, did you really do it?

Do y’all even care?

Why do I even care?

“Instagram is the worst social media network for mental health and well-being.”


Nobody Wants to Hire Me, Norma

mental health amongst african americanToday, I want to talk about Mental Health.  Now, I am no expert in this subject and had to do extensive research so don’t shoot the messenger. 🙂 Today’s topic is stemming from Tyrese and his recent appearance in the news. To make a long story short, or at least try to make a long story short,  Tyrese has been in legal battles with his ex-wife Norma over their 10 year old daughter.  Tyrese has recently decided to be intimate with social media and air all of his business out.  Now I am a firm believer in keeping your private life off of social media, especially things that should not be put out there, this is one of them.  Last month, TheShadeRoom posted that a video that showed what appeared to be a plane flying with a banner that read “No matter what, Daddy loves you Shayla” over his daughter’s school the day she was supposed to testify against him.  Now pause for a second, I am no lawyer or person who has an interest in law, but isn’t that like bribery or something a long those line, attempting to threaten the witness? Anywho, the most recent outburst from Tyrese was a video were he cried and pleaded with the mother of his daughter, his friends, and whoever else would listen, “Don’t take my baby, please don’t take my baby” while wearing and consistently putting the camera on his “Shayla Rocks” hoodie.  This past Monday, he posted another post on Instagram where he shared that Jada and Will Smith had given him $5 million with the caption “[…] You guys have asked me to get off and stay off the Internet now that my daughters legal fees will be paid ! will listen…” all while still airing out personal information.

The topic recently has been on Tyrese’s mental health. Is he just seeking attention because he hasn’t been in the spotlight as much recently or should we really be paying attention to his mental health? In September, his ex-wife told People that the singer was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.  Things going on with the Fast and the Furious movie, legal issues with his daughter, allegedly not having money and any other issues could probably hit a few triggers for Tyrese and could be the cause of his recent outbursts.  Mental Health is real and it is especially real amongst African Americans.  I think it is always so crazy and disgusting when we try to downplay it as something else.  I remember back in February, I felt like maybe I was stressed and depressed, however I began to downplay it as just PMSing.  But I was always crying, stressed, and even began to start losing hair, but I never wanted to go to the doctors to get an appropriate analysis. According to KultureHub, from 2014-2015, only 9 percent of Black Americans voluntarily sought out psychological help according to a study conducted by National Institute of Mental Health, which is also why African Americans are 20% likely to experience serious mental health problems than the general population.  All in all, I just want to know where is Tyrese’s publicst, manager, friends, family to take any his phone and get him the help that he needs?

Below are tips and information about Mental Health within the African American community:

Common Mental Health Disorders among African Americans include:

  • Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
  • Suice (among Young African American men)
  • Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), because African Americans are more likely to be victims of violent crimes)

Different Reasons as to Why African Americans do not seek treatment and receiving quality care:

  • Lack of information and misunderstanding: African Americans think that having a mental illness is a personal weakness and associate shame and stigma with such conditions
  • Faith, spirituality and community: African Americans tend to turn to faith, family and social communities as opposed to health care professionals
  • Reluctance and Inability to Access Mental Health Services: Misdiagnoses, inadequate treatment and lack of culture competence by health professionals and socio-economic factors are apart of reason why African Americans do not seek treatment
  • Medication: African Americans metabolize medication a lot slower than the general population

Basically, as someone who realizes the stigma of mental illness in the African American community, if you ever feel like you have depression, ADHD, feel suicidal, or have PTSD please seek help immediately. 800-662-HELP (4357) National Treatment Referral Helpline.