Grad School, Grad Assistant, & Resident Directing

As some of you may or may not know, I decided to pack up everything, leave California, and return to school at my alma mater, Western Kentucky University to receive my masters and let me tell you, it has not been the easiest transition…at all.  Originally I was in the Master of Arts in Student Affairs in Higher Education program, however I decided to change my program to Master of Arts in Organizational Leadership partly because I realized that I did not want to do presentations and partly because my new program is 100% online.  Also, before moving out here I accepted a job as a Resident Director and an assistantship as an Academic Advisor.  Let me tell y’all what my life has been like since moving back.

Every Wednesday morning, I wake up 5:30am, get dressed and head to Bowling Green to be on time for my assistantship that starts at 8:30am.  Sometimes, I’ll stay in Bowling Green at one of my line sisters house until Friday or I’ll unwillingly drive back to Owensboro (an hour and 10 minute drive, 45 minutes on a good day).  A lot of money is going towards gas, unfortunately.  Let’s back track to my job as a Resident Director… I absolutely HATE IT.  Housing and Residence Life was never an interest of mine when it came to Student Affairs.  I worked in HRL for 6 months as a Night Desk Clerk, but that was the extent of my interest and I only did it because it was a job and it paid.  As a Resident Director, I oversee 3 RAs and about 70 students.  I am tasked with having one on-call night a week and rotating weekends with 4 other Resident Directors.  Our training for this job was about 5 hours in one day.  Can you say UNPREPARED? Because that’s definitely how I felt afterwards and still do.  The job doesn’t sell me and isn’t interesting at all.  My boss, who is the Director of Residence Life and has been in Residence Life pretty much her entire professional career keeps trying to talk me into that realm of Student Affairs and I am not buying it.  The only good thing about this position is that I have free room and board.  Outside of that, honestly, truly that can keep this job.  I will 9 times out of 10, not return for this position next semester.

Okay, back to my assistantship.  I know this post is going to sound like a lot of complaining, however I can’t help but to complain.  I think I should’ve stayed in California and kept my job as a TA Coordinator, lol.  However, my assistantship it started out good and I actually love what I am doing: advising and mentoring students, BUT (because there is always a but in these types of situations) my boss…my boss.  She is the Academic Advising and Student Services Coordinator and LORD she is so stuck in her ways and I cannot stand people who are like that.  I always cannot stand people who like to micromanage.  So, as a grad assistant for her, we have two options: work from 8:30am-5:00pm and have a 30 minute lunch or work from 8:30am-4:30pm with no lunch, as I most certainly remember, this lady told us that, “I prefer you guys to work from 8:30am-5:00pm and have a 30 minute lunch and I also don’t mind if you take more than 30 minutes from time to time.”  I remember I left for lunch one day and she had the nerve to text me and ask me where I was.  BITCH, I am eating lunch.  Our location is on South Campus which is a good 5 minute drive from Main Campus.  I told her I was on Main Campus getting lunch and would be headed back to South Campus as soon as I got my food.  She text back, “Okay,” so of course I thought I was good.  I get back and she had a whole lot to say.  When you leave for lunch let me know, typically we don’t take lunch in this office, if you’re going to go to main campus, I’m going to have to actually count that as a lunch, blah blah blah.  Man, when I tell you, I was so perplexed and ready to walk out this office and go back out into corporate america, because for one, I can take my lunch whenever I want too without having to report to someone and telling them that I was leaving for lunch and dammit if I wanted to take a 1.5 hour lunch, than I could without someone breathing down my neck.  Anywho, that’s not the only reason why I don’t like working for her and again I see myself not doing this assistantship next semester.

So, we’re past both of my jobs, let’s get into grad school.

Ice Cream Party

So, I’ve never been a reader, like ever.  The only developmental college course that I needed was for reading.  I took the ACT about 5 times and I just could never get that reading score up higher than a 19.  With that being said, graduate school is alllllllll about reading and critiquing.  For one of my classes, I recently had to read 6 different articles.  I had to reach at least 3 of them twice because I just hate reading and my attention span was all over the place reading them.  I have an entire chapter from one book that I have to read and then an entire book that I have to read and give my reaction/critique on the book.  When I tell y’all that I am not looking forward to doing any of this reading, I am not looking forward to doing any of this reading.  My other course is a bi-term and doesn’t start until October, however looking a the syllabus, it looks like I’ll be having to do a lot of reading for that course.  I personally am just glad that I can somewhat finesse my graduate program like I did in undergrad.  Graduate school isn’t all that bad, but sometimes I just want to drop out of graduate school and find me an old white rich man to take care of me for the rest of my life.  But my odds of graduating with my masters over finding an old white rich man to take care of me is higher.

The past couple of months haven’t been too bad though.  In August, my father had a retirement roast that was pretty fun.  I got to see a lot of folks that hadn’t seen me since I was about 15.

The following weekend, my beautiful 7 got married to her boyfriend that she had been with for forever!

The next weekend, my neos hosted the annual Yard Show and it was my little sisters birthday, so we ventured off to Nashville where I met two guys: one who is a grad student at TSU studying engineering and the other who took my phone, took a picture of us and said we look like Jay-Z and Beyonce. Boooyyyy, if you don’t getcho…

Fast forward to last weekend, where I had absouletly nothing to do so I chopped all of my hair off, bought up the entire mall and decided that I needed to get back into the gym because my fat ass is getting well, ya know….fat.

baldheaded

Currently, I am looking for TA Coordinator and/or TA Specialist jobs in Memphis, TN.  I’m looking to move back home and continue to gain experience in Talent Acquisition, that way when I move back to California in two years, I can apply and get jobs as a TA Operations Manager or Sr. TA Specialist, just something that’s going to make me more money than what I was making before I moved from LA.  I’ve also been looking the Bowling Green, however I prefer to move back home, free rent, food, everything…. lol.

How’s life for you guys?

xoxo

Jas ❤

Advertisements

I Broke My Celibacy – Where Do I Go From Here?

About two months ago, I wrote a blog post titled, “Finding Happiness in Celibacy” that you can find here.  At the time, I hadn’t had sex in 11 months.  I happened to make it to month 12, however I let the temptation of the devil get the best of me and I broke my celibacy.  During and afterwards, I was extremely disappointed with myself yet confused at the same time.  I didn’t understand if I were celibate because I didn’t have anyone currently in my life nor did I have any prospects while living in California or if I were celibate because I legitimately wanted to be celibate to strengthen my relationship with myself.

Clutch Magazine reader, Pseudonym, said “everyone is claiming to be celibate until they have sex next time they get a boyfriend.  That is NOT celibacy.  That’s called not having sex with randoms.  There’s a HUGE difference.” And I personally feel like that was sort of my mindset.  I didn’t want to be in California having sex with a bunch of random guys, however if a guy did come into my life, than yes, I probably would have had sex with him.  Looking back on the past year, I realized that I wasn’t celibate, I was just not having sex until like Pseudonym said, I got a boyfriend.

Another Clutch Magazine reader mentioned that she was celibate for almost 2 years, not because of a religious reason, but because she felt like her relationships with men were poor because of it.  There’s no secret that my relationships with men are extremely poor. I thought if I made them wait, they’d be more prone to stick around and have more respect for me, but after doing that with a couple of guys to only be played, I said to hell with it and started having sex with guys whenever I felt I wanted too, whether it’d be a week, a couple of days, or a month after knowing them.  BUT none of those relationships lasted, so I thought, maybe I should be celibate and test a guy out to see if he’s even worth getting my most prized possession than the relationship would work, however I am realizing now that I have to work on my relationship with myself first before I try to work on a relationship with another guy.

Since breaking my celibacy, I haven’t had sex since than and I am constantly thinking about my actions, why I did them, and where do I go from there.  Jessica White, who revealed her celibacy to Page Six Magazine mentioned that, “Celibacy is a choice that every woman has to make for herself.  […] I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, but God led me to such a beautiful place when I turned 27 [in June 2011] – it was a pivotal moment.  I started feeling more beautiful.  I felt like I’d never been so happy.  The light bulb turned on for me.  This is the new journey.  I feel like I’m starting over.”  I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my past and I do believe that God is leading me to a beautiful place. I need to work on me first before I work think about sex and a man.

1 Corinthians 7:7-9 says ‘I wish that all men were as I am.  But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.  Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.  But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Basically Paul wants all men to be single, like him, but understands that not everyone can control themselves.  But in verse 9, God says, “control yourself sexually or get married.  Sex outside marriage to “let off pressure,” “just for pleasure” or even as a  “trial marriage” is outside the will of God and is therefore a sin.”

The new journey I have decided to take of is going to be difficult, I know, how I am looking forward to striving to become the faithful servant God has intended me to be!

xoxo

Jas ❤

 

 

 

Podcasts To Listen Too

So, I live an hour away from where I go to school at. Normally, I’d listen to my podcast that I’ve created, but recently I found out about Insecuritea podcast and from there, I started finding other podcast and now I am a podcast freak and I listen to them all on my rides to and from school everyday.  Here are a list of the podcast that I listen too, that you should listen to as well:

  1. Insecuritea – a podcast where Crissle and heyfranhey recap the previous episode of Insecure
  2. The Friend Zone – Dustin Ross, HeyFranHey, and Assante explore mental health, mental wealth and mental hygiene
  3. The Read – a podcast where bloggers Kid Fury and Crissle for their weekly “read” of hip-hop and pop culture’s most trying stars
  4. Therapy for Black Girls – a weekly chat about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves
  5. hey, girl. – a podcast that unites the voices of phenomenal women created with sisterhood and storytelling in mind by author Alex Elle
  6. QUEENS TALK – a podcast where Keaira laShae and Brian k have transformational conversations that help guide you in relationships, life, love, health and fitness and HOW TO BE A QUEEN
  7. The Generation Why Podcast – Unsolved murders, controversies, mysteries, conspiracies and true crimes
  8. She Didn’t Text Back – a podcast that showcases Daren VonGirdner and William Haynes discussing everything from relationship issues to Instagram baddies
  9. Another Round – Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton cover everything from race, gender and pop culture to squirrels, mangoes, and bad jokes
  10. Black Girl Podcast – a new audio series created by Scottie Beam, Gia Peppers, Sapphira, Bex, and Alysha P where they talk about life issues, sisterhood, pop culture, love, growth and the pursuit of their dreams to the public

xoxo

Jas ❤